2010 Recap:Excuse Me While I Blow My Nose

Okay this is fair warning, turn away if you don't like reading while I boohoo=) I'm going to start off with the emotional and physical side of this past year. As you know the year 2010 for my family was really tough with the cancer diagnosis and death of my beloved father-in-law. But what you might not know is that the previous year's were times of severe testing in my family. I will not go into the details because it is completely unnecessary but I will say that these were very difficult trials that effected my emotional, but more so my physical health. At one point I became so ill from the stress of these trials that I had to stop running completely. I started having anxiety attacks while running. Then, just about the time I was beginning to move forward again my husbands dad was diagnosed with cancer and died this past August. Even though I did some running this past year it was no where near the consistency or level that has been a mainstay most of my life. A lot of damage had been done from the stress and my failure to trust God in it. Running has always been a huge part of my life so for it to be such a struggle was just another aspect of how my life had fallen apart under the weight of these difficulties. Even in my unfaithfulness God was faithful through the years, but my health, weight and emotions had suffered. God brought me through it and taught me so much about my utter need for Him. Unexpectedly, our move to Houston has been like entering the promised land! God has brought so much healing through the change. As a result, my running has been getting back on track like it had been in the past. So, (deep breath here) to be able to be training for a half marathon after years of just struggling to find my way down the running trail has been a true victory! So here I sit typing with tired legs from a 10 mile run today yet with renewed strength in the path the Lord has us on. For me it has been more than just physical miles it has been triumph. And only by His grace! He is the One who underwrites my battles and through Him I overwhelmingly conquer. To Him alone belongs the victory!

So this leads me to where I am physically and what my short term goals are. First, the past few years and lack of consistent running have aided me in packing on some weight, sigh...I need to loose about 15-okay more like 20lbs. I am at a weight that is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. A lot of what I have read about running to loose weight is not very promising. I know that I HAVE to loose this weight especially if I'm going to survive training in Houston's humidity. My plan is to view food as fuel, and to eat around my runs keeping myself fueled enough to continue working on my running goals. I am a relatively healthy eater, but I can't afford to feed any of my vices if I want to get this weight off. It is not an issue of vanity, it really is the last thing I see that is a painful reminder of a time of great failure in my life and I want victory over this. It remains the last thing to put behind me. I plan to talk about this more in future post's, share some of my eating strategies and may be so brave to post before and after photos. Secondly, and the part that really excites me is the fact that I am actually training for some races this year. I have not raced in a loooong time. Considering the years I have run overall I would like to be much farther along on my training but I need to be realistic and careful. So for now I have 2 goals with my training.

1. To build my base mileage in preparation for running the half-marathon distance.

2. To run relaxed while pushing my pace. (This is not speed work. I'm trying to find my cadence...)

If all goes well with these goals I hope to begin the hill/speed work phase possibly in February. I will see how my weight loss is going and how my legs are holding up. Well my friends there you have it! It has been a tough post to share yet one I hope brings glory to God. As He did in 2010 I know He will do in 2011 and that is to bring meaning, purpose, strength, hope, and grace to my life through the victories and through the failures. He is the reason I run. I think Eric Lidell described it best when he said:

"When I run I feel His pleasure."

I wish you all a blessed New Year.

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.