Cough, Moan, Repeat...

Well, I am discouraged... It started Friday on what was to be a 12 mile training run. I left the house and drove to Terry Hershey Park which is a wonderful park that runs along the Buffalo Bayou. Since my last 1/2 in January I have been trying to work on my pace. I haven't done any specific speed work or made any specific goals to improve, I've simply been trying to pick up the pace when I run. I did a little hill work in February but it was only a few times. In my mind I think I need to give myself a little more base building time before starting any "real" speed work but I am also not wanting to get in the habit of slow running. Before I ran the 1/2 in January most of my training miles up to that point averaged in the high 10's (10:35-10:50) Since trying to pick up the pace I have been on average running 10:00-10:35 min. miles. I have run under 10 min. miles but only short distances (and it is very hard to hold). So Friday I head out hoping to average in the low 10's for 12 miles. The first 7 miles were going great and I was holding my pace even with a serious head wind and a slight cramp in my left thigh. Somewhere around mile 6-7 I had planned to stop take in 1 GU and 1 Accelerade (and give my left quad a stretch). I forgot how thin the Accelerade was and ended up squirting it down the back of my throat and proceeded to choke. I think I stood there coughing for 5 Min's. Once I could breath again I started back running and was clocking a solid 10 min. pace when at mile 8 I hit some kind of wall. I just had an immediate shutdown. I felt no energy and total fatigue. To add to it my left thigh and glut were really cramping (I forgot to stretch them from my choking episode). between mile 8-9 I had to take several walk breaks. I made it back to the parking lot and stopped before making it to even 10 miles. I just quit, totally defeated. It is hard for me to even type those words... Since then I have been feeling awful. I continued coughing the rest of the day and went to bed last night feeling just kind of puny. I don't know if I have some kind of respiratory thing coming on but I am feeling so much pressure to get out and run with my next half just 15 days away. I know the experts recommend not running especially with upper respiratory stuff, but I feel like I need to keep pushing my mileage. I am also struggling with feeling silly trying to run all these 1/2's while still being this slow. In my heart I would love to run a 1/2 in under 2hrs. I know that I need to do a lot more to ever see that kind of pace. I have really questioned my conservative approach and wonder if I really have what it takes to ever be that fast... I have decided not to run the Aquarium 1/2 in May and would probably not do this half in Dallas had I not already paid the money. Sorry to moan...I'm normally not this negative...just having an emotional time right now with my running...