Need your Prayers

Well, you might have noticed I haven't posted a run in a couple of days. There are a few reasons why and even as I type I'm not sure I'm going to publish this post. I am a pretty private person when it comes to certain issues in my life. But I feel a connection with you gals thorough our blogs and the faith we share. I already feel like I share a special part of my life with you through our bond of running so I wanted to open up to you about this as well. I went to see a specialist last Friday to discuss this pain under my right rib. After her examination of the area she decided I should go in for this pretty invasive procedure to see if we can pin point the source. I am scheduled for this procedure this coming Thur. and honestly I am extremely anxious about it. I am not so worried about the results, so much as the prep and procedure itself. I also have another chest x-ray scheduled for the 22nd. I am hoping that between these two I will have some idea what this could be. It was actually a chest x-ray they did last year that started all this in the first place. I will admit I have drug my feet on many procedures they have wanted to do because I have never had any medical problems and it has been extremely hard for me to submit to all the poking and prodding. But I have promised my husband that I will address this issue. What has been the hardest about this is that I am not comfortable talking about it and since I have not had to deal with medical problems personally I feel disjointed and uncomfortable with this being a part of my life. But the reality is this is right now where God has me and I am not doing a very good job submitting to it. The knees of my faith feel shaky and the lack of control I feel has me anxious. So I NEED your prayers! Pray that my faith would be strong. Practically pray that I will just sleep through the procedure Thursday and not be overly anxious. As far as running I didn't end up running Saturday or even Monday. I can't seem to mentally get past the circumstances I find myself in, yet I know that I would feel better if I went for a run. I plan to get a run in today because I know it will help me. I feel ashamed for my lack of faith and that is probably why I hesitate to share and expose myself in this way fearing that I will dishonor my Lord in some way. So again I covet your prayers that my faith will be strong. I know His grace is sufficient and will be in ready supply through this ordeal. More than anything the deepest longing in my heart is that I will not be an unfaithful servant and somehow in my weakness He will be glorified.