Coming up for Air

 

If you have followed my blog for anytime you might remember me mentioning that we had a lot of family and friends come and visit this past year. Between the revolving door of guest, getting very involved with ministry at our church and running 3 half marathons approximately 2 months apart, I feel like life has been dragging me along. Like I mentioned in my last post I'm just not up to sounding Pollyanna about life right now. Pollyanna has left the building! Life has been very stressful especially the past 3-4 months. I won't get into the specifics but I will say that it hasn't been one single event but rather a number of things both personally and concerning others in my life who have contributed to a dark cloud that seems to relentless hover overhead. Initially I reacted to the stress as I always do; DENIAL. She is the sister of Pollyanna in case you didn't know. Then I sucked it all inside which is my second way of dealing with things. I drown before I come up fighting. But its time...time to come up for air...time to breath even in the uncertainty of what lies ahead. Time to believe God is able and willing to work in my life AND the lives of others! It's time to take the sword of affliction and allow it to wield away at the sin in my life and help clear the path so that I can walk by faith. The battle is not to try and change my circumstances the battle is for my faith. Yes, for my faith; "And without faith it is impossible to please Him..."  Faith is the expression of my "confidence" in God - in His fidelity, His truth, His wisdom, His promises. So its time to start living in the confidence of who He is and time to focus... This week I was reminded while reading Nancy's blog of the benefit of "tunnel vision." This got me thinking about races horses and the blinders they sometimes wear while racing. I did a little research and sure enough these blinders are used to keep the horse focused on what is in front of him, encouraging him to pay attention to the race rather than other distractions.
Right now there are a lot of things pulling on my focus and my resolve to keep my head in the race. That dark cloud overhead is swirling with distractions and the uncertainty of what storms lie ahead. Along with some issues in life I have been plagued with chronic Piriformis issues over the past 3-4 months.Two of the three 1/2 marathons I ran this year I completely lost my focus during the second half of the race because of pain. My training and mental focus has suffered also because of the pain. There are things I know I need to do that will help this and possibly correct it completely. This is a area I need to put blinders on and take the time to pay attention to. I spent this weekend planning out my running schedule which includes some new exercises, stretches as well as I plan to start getting regular massages that will hopefully work to resolve this issue. My goal right now is to take a 6 month break from running anymore half marathons to allow myself the time to focus on this Piriformis issue. During this time I hope to not only resolve some pain issues but more importantly focus on living by faith. It's faith that will keep me moving forward and running til I cross the finish line.



Pressing on (with blinders), Terri